Dinofarm Games has GONE EVIL!
HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Dinofarm Games is no more! Now there is only DRAGONBARN GAMES, the world’s first openly evil game developers!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Okay, so a few things are gonna change around here. I’m the lead designer, KAISER BUNDSON, and do ever I have some surprises for you unsuspecting IDIOT fans.
First of all, none of this “buying the game once and then you have the entire game” CRAP! We’re sending out a version NOW that will make all copies of Auro cease to function unless you pay us another three bucks. And you WILL pay us that three bucks, and from there it’s only gonna get worse, so START SAVING UP NOW! (WE WANT THAT CA$$$H CA$H CA$H CA$H)
We are also changing the name of the game to “Auro: AN OBSCENE MONEYMAKING OPERATION“. Here’s the patch notes.
- DRAGONCASH added to the game. The conversion rate for Dragoncash to US Dollars is 1:70368.66666, or 5:11 on Sundays and holidays, or 1:1 on weekdays from 5-9PM. You are required to buy Dragoncash.
- After every match, there’s a slot machine game(UNSKIPPABLE). YOU COULD BE A WINNER! Winning gives you a 2% discount on the DRAGON CASH BONUS BUNDLE, worth an incredible 80,000 DRAGONCASH PENNIES! Losing, however, will black screen the app until you pay up another $3.
- Added 150 new spells to the game. Here are some of the coolest ones:
- Super Snowball – Randomly kills 0-12 nearby monsters, but sometimes adds 0-12 monsters instead.
- Mega Clone – Creates a clone of Auro who RANDOMLY kills 6-14 monsters.
- Win – WIN THE GAME INSTANTLY!!! (Costs 400 DC to use)
- This version is the Auro Base Set, which comes with the Jump ability and up to two different monsters. You can now BUY new great stuff with Dragoncash, such as:
- New Spells (sold in booster packs, with 14 levels of rarity)
- New Game Modes (one game mode is actually a Flappy Bird clone some kid made for a high school project. It cost me almost nothing to make, but it’s gonna cost you a ton.)
- Random Charges – Whenever we charge your credit card, we will also make an advertisement to your friends using your Facebook account.
- This one’s my favorite: Kissie Rat REMOVED!!!
Hey, this is BLAIR RILLARDS, the new guy in charge of our art. The old guy, Blake or whatever his name was, took way too long making the art for these games. I know a bunch of high school kids who will work for CHEAP, making us some perfectly fine paper doll artwork quick as hell. Which is good because we’re gonna be pumping these things out faster than you can download them.
Here’s an example of a character from the next DRAGONBARN game, “Mr. DB”. By using a Flash dummy, he cost us almost NOTHING to make, which is really great – for us.
[swf src=”http://www.dinofarmgames.com/mrdb.swf” width=600 height=300]
I don’t wanna hear any guff about it, either. You’ll buy it, you’ll buy clothing and hats for Mr. DB, and that’s the end of this discussion! You’re already falling in love with Mr. DB! Look at those cute eyes! What a charmer! Now ENTER YOUR CREDIT CARD INFO AND SLAM YOUR CASH INTO OUR BANK ACCOUNT already! CA$H CA$H CA$H I want that CAAAAAASHHHHHH!!!! $$$$
Here are the next few games we’ll be releasing, one every Thursday:
Mr. DB – An endless runner with minor nudity and real shit noises
MuneCruft – Minecraft was a big hit!!!
Sonicc Hedgehog’s Cigarette Roulette – Play as SONIC and save the princess!!!! (IAPs, RMT, 18+ ONLY!!!)
Flappy Birdd – Flappy bird clone (adults only, contains nudity)
Candy Crush Sagaa – Match 3 but you can win REAL REAL MONEY by doing applied surveys for cigarette companies
Angry Minecraftt – gambling online casino POKER that you play for **real cigarettes**!!
Please print this page and mail to DragonBarn Studios.
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